Sep 152017
 

At the Opening Flag, I started off by reminding students and families of our core values – be kind, be curious, take risks, be your best, and then shared that this year we would focus on the first of those values, be kind. With the infusion of many new students and families into our community, particularly with the addition of a 3rd section of 6th graders in Middle School, the timing seems right to emphasize this first and essential value.

Since that Flag, so many children and families have shared stories with me about how they are making an effort to live this value. A 6th grader shared with me that she had seen one of the new girls in her class standing by herself on the playground. Remembering our values, she walked over and invited her to join some of her friends. A family shared that they have created a kindness journal, placing it in a public space at home that allows each member of the family to share stories about times they have been kind or have seen kindness in others. Another parent shared that their young child had talked about being kind at home with her younger siblings. While it didn’t end perfectly – something all of us with multiple children can appreciate! – she was thrilled that her child had recognized that values at school carry beyond campus into the home and the “real world.”

So why is this important? Kindness is the social glue that holds a community together. Kindness challenges us to look beyond ourselves and show concern for others. A kind person is:

  • friendly – They smile and greet people when they pass, and introduce themselves to people they do not know.
  • considerate – They open the door for people, say please and thank you, and look for ways to make people feel seen and appreciated.
  • generous – They offer to help someone in need, pick up trash or do other things to help the community, and find small ways to make people feel special.
  • compassionate – They understand that as humans we are going to make mistakes, and they are gentle to themselves and others as they seek growth.

Beyond that, kindness calls on us to be our best selves, even when we do not want to be. I think about this particularly when I’m working with a child or a family that is struggling or frustrated. At these moments of conflict, we need to remind ourselves to assume goodwill and to remember that we all have the same goal – to help each child reach their highest individual potential in school and in life. While we do not always agree on the path to take, the recognition that we have the same goal hopefully reminds us to treat each other with the kindness and respect we all deserve. I am not by any stretch perfect in this regard, and it remains for me one of my most aspirational goals.

Taking a step back, the stories parents have been sharing with me about kindness reinforce one of the most important things we do as a school – practice values. We know that talking to children about values matters. And, even more importantly, creating a community in which those values are lived daily highlights for children that the type of person you are is as important as what you do or how much you know.

By naming values it also offers us daily opportunities to talk about what happens when we don’t live up to our values, something that is inevitable when talking about people of all ages. At Hillbrook, I hope we create a community where we regularly talk about values, and where we strive to highlight examples of how different members of our community exemplify those values. I also hope we are a community that is slow to judge, particularly when talking about the behavior of a child, and quick to forgive. Children make mistakes, and our job is not to judge children, but to help them learn with and from each other how to create a community that is kind, curious, supports risk taking, and allows everyone to be their best.

I was talking to a parent of one of our recent graduates last week. He described how his daughter found herself alone at lunch on the first day of high school and, in true Hillbrook fashion, took a risk, walked up to a table of six girls, introduced herself, explained she was from Hillbrook and thus did not know many girls at the school, and asked if she could join them. We both marveled at the self-confidence, the courage, and the resilience she had as a 14 year old, something both of us were pretty sure we did not have at the same age. The story had a happy ending – they welcomed her to eat with them. More importantly, it highlights the difference a Hillbrook education makes. Yes, our graduates do well academically and yes, they gain the skills and knowledge they need for success in high school and beyond. The real difference, however, is that they develop the confidence and the values that make them the classmates, friends, and leaders that are poised to change the world in ways both big and small.

Aug 282017
 

With Jackson (’19) and Lily (’16) – the Silver family’s first day at Hillbrook School.

I first noticed the trend a few years ago. Every August, my Facebook feed starts to fill up with back-to-school photos. Children, often holding brand-new backpacks and dressed in shiny, new school outfits, smile at cameras. The looks vary, some stand proudy with big, broad, confident smiles, others slouch slightly, more understated, lips closed, only the corners of their mouths slightly upturned. Ages and stages can often be determined by tell-tale signs – missing teeth, braces, hairstyles. In families with multiple children, the interactions between the peers are often telling, as is the absence of one or more siblings from a photo or the emergence of multiple first-day photos, a reminder that someone has moved on to a new stage of their lives – high school or even college.

What is missing from my feed, for the most part, are the adults – parents, grandparents, teachers – who are also preparing for their entry to the school year. I love to imagine my feed filling up with photos that capture the complexity of adult feelings. A parent, smiling bravely, as they watch their 4 or 5-year-old enter the junior kindergarten or kindergarten classroom for the first time. Another parent, smiling gratefully, as they watch their 4th grader run onto campus, signalling the end of summer and the return to normalcy and routine that a school year brings. A different parent looking somewhat torn – a mix of pride, excitement, and a twinge of sorrow, as they watch their 8th grader enter Hillbrook for their “final first day.” A teacher, closing their eyes and taking a deep breath, as they eagerly – and yet undoubtedly with a bit of nerves – anticipate the arrival of their students.

The images, whether literal or just in my imagination, are reminders of the promise of a new school year. Each time I see one on the Facebook feed my stomach flutters slightly, as I feel my own mixture of anticipation, excitement, and nerves that comes along with the start of a school year. Nine years into my tenure at Hillbrook, 25 years into my career as an educator, and many, many, many years after my own first day of school in kindergarten, I remain drawn to the possibility that a school year offers. I embrace the opportunity to take on a beginner’s mindset, to view the school with the fresh perspective gained from a summer away, and to try to see the school through the eyes of the many children, families, and teachers who are experiencing Hillbrook for the very first time.

Last year, the night before the first day of a school, a memory popped up on my Facebook feed. It was the first day of school, 2009, my very first day as the Head of Hillbrook School. I was standing behind Lily, who was 7 and entering 2nd grade, and Jackson, who was 5 and entering JK. Piper, not pictured, was still four years away from her first day. All three of us look excited and just a touch terrified at the prospect of the day ahead. So much has happened since that day, and yet the things that drew me to Hillbrook – a strong community, an extraordinary educational program, a belief in the possibility and promise of childhood – remain as strong as they were on that day. Indeed, the ensuring years have only deepened my sense of appreciation and connection to Hillbrook and its community. Hillbrook is and has always been an extraordinary place for children and adults.

Whether you are new to our community or returning for your second, tenth, or twentieth year, I encourage each of you to embrace the promise of the new year. Please join me, the 8th grade co-heads, more than 350 students, our dynamic and talented faculty and staff, and parents of all ages at Flag on Wednesday morning. I can’t wait to see you.

Jun 082017
 

Good morning and welcome to the 2017 Hillbrook school graduation ceremony. I want to extend a special welcome this morning to our guests on stage with me, including Los Gatos Mayor Marico Sayoc, Chair of the Board of Trustees Chuck Hammers, Head of Middle School Christina Pak, 8th grade level coordinator Eden Maisel, and Chris Hailey, graduate from the Class of 2013. Most importantly, it is my honor to welcome the soon to be graduated members of the Class of 2017.

A graduation is both an ending and a beginning. For the forty 8th graders behind me today, it represents the end of their time as students on our campus, the culmination of elementary and middle school, 10 years of extraordinary learning and growth. Through it all they were nurtured, challenged, and inspired by teachers who know them and care for them as people and learners. Teachers who continually push them to live out Hillbrook’s core values – be kind, be curious, take risks, be your best. I know that all of those teachers share with me incredible pride in their accomplishments to date, as well as extraordinary optimism for what they will do in the future.

Of course the graduates of the Class of 2017 are not the only ones undergoing a change. In front of me sit their proud parents and in many cases proud grandparents, uncles, aunts, and siblings.  For the parents, today also marks a major milestone. In particular, this year, we have a significant cohort of families who have spent more than a decade of their lives at Hillbrook, and whose youngest child or in some cases only child is graduating, meaning that the whole family will be transitioning to alum status in the year ahead. I trust that those families – and all of our graduates – will return often to share stories about how they are doing in the years ahead. While you may no longer be on our campus each day, you will always be a part of the Hillbrook family.

As I was trying to think of a good topic for today’s speech I found myself getting distracted. Every time I started to put a thought together, my mind was pulled in another direction. I felt like I was spinning out of control. What exactly was the problem? I was under the spell of fidget spinners. So instead of fighting it, I finally decided to give in and ask – what, if anything, can we learn from these ubiquitous little devices?

First, a little background for those of you in the audience, if there are any, who don’t yet know what I’m talking about. I remember the first time I saw a spinner. It was a Thursday in late April – or thereabouts – and I was walking through the Kindergarten area, past the bike track, by the swings, nearing the Kindergarten porch when I saw them – two Kindergartners spinning these little things, one on their finger, the other on their foot. “What’s that?” I asked innocently. By the end of the following week, I was seeing spinners everywhere – near the 1st/2nd grade picnic tables, on the 3rd/4th playground, in the Middle School science classrooms, even during Flag. Everyone was writing about them – the NY Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic Monthly. Even the Pope talked about them in a speech. I decided I had to get one for myself. And, since I didn’t want our 8th graders to feel left out, I decided that we should provide them with Hillbrook-engraved fidget spinners on their graduation. Hey, 8th graders, check under your seats.

So, now that we are all on the same page as to what a fidget spinner is, let’s get back to my question – what can we learn from the emergence of this toy?

Popularity can be difficult to explain. As numerous people have pointed out, fidget spinners have been around for years. Why did their popularity explode now? The best answer that I’ve heard argues that Youtube videos fed the craze, and yet no one can really point to a specific catalyst. One store owner described receiving a call in mid-April asking for one. He had never heard of it. 30 minutes later he received his second call. Today, he is receiving 20-30 calls per day. Others have pointed to previous toy trends – I am sure all of the 8th graders remember Silly Bandz when they were in 1st grade, Rainbow Loom in 2nd or 3rd grade, and Pokemon Go at the beginning of this school year. All of these things caught people’s attention and for a brief period of time seemed to be everywhere. They also seemed to disappear – or at a least fade – nearly as quickly as they appeared. Which takes me to my first point….

Don’t confuse popularity with meaning or significance. The fact that nearly everyone has a fidget spinner does not necessarily make the item important or meaningful. As previous toy trends have shown us, things appear and disappear quickly. While it may be difficult to buy a fidget spinner today, within a few weeks or months you’ll likely have no problem buying them. I encourage each of you to recognize the similarity between the fleeting popularity of a toy and the fleeting satisfaction of other things in your lives, like social media popularity. Receiving 100 likes on Instagram or Snapchat may feel good in the moment, but it is not – and should not be – seen as a measure of your value.

And, yet, while we will be well-served to remember that the fidget spinner is, ultimately, a toy, I also encourage you to recognize the positive lessons that a simple toy can provide. One of the mistakes that people sometimes make as they grow up is they forget how to play. While we are well aware of the importance of play for young children, many people don’t realize that play is critical for adults as well. Dr. Stuart Brown the head of the National Institute for Play – yes, that’s a real organization – points out the value. He describes play as “something done for its own sake.” He notes “it is voluntary, it’s pleasurable….and the act itself is more important than the outcome.” Think joining a soccer league, board games with friends and family, brain puzzlers on a Sunday afternoon. Play brings people together, keeps our minds active, and creates opportunities for us to laugh and be joyful. I think about the various moments in which I’ve seen groups of children playing with fidget spinners, and I see evidence of how a toy and play can bring people together.

Play is also an essential component of innovation and entrepreneurship. A playful mindset keeps us open to possibilities, encourages us to make new connections with people and ideas, and fuels our imagination. Silicon Valley is known for creating workplace cultures that incorporate play and silliness. Why? Because entrepreneurial leaders know that we need to retain a playful spirit in order to solve the world’s most complex problems. As playwright Nagle Jackson wrote, “The truly great advances of this generation will be made by those who can make outrageous connections, and only a mind which knows how to play can do that.” Put another way, I encourage each of you to take your work seriously, but never take yourself too seriously. Never be afraid to be silly, take risks, and even occasionally make yourself look like a fool. You never know – it may lead to the next great innovation that will take over Silicon Valley and the world.

So, Class of 2017, I guess the final lesson is don’t underestimate the power of something unexpected – even a toy – to teach you important lessons about life. Stay curious, keep taking risks, lead with kindness, and above all, be your best. Keep those Hillbrook fidget spinners as a reminder, and come back and visit often. We can’t wait to see what you will do to change the world.

May 182017
 

Hillbrook alumni returned to campus for our Alumni Celebration. Many looked back on their Hillbrook experiences and looked forward to exciting new beginnings as they head off to college and into the world.

I find myself becoming increasingly nostalgic. This past Friday, more than 100 alums returned to campus to participate in our reunion activities. It was such a joy talking with alums, particularly those in high school and college, and I marveled at the growth they have shown during the years since they had left Hillbrook. I was particularly struck talking to one high school senior, who described in detail the college program he was entering next year in theatrical direction and writing, a program that he noted accepts only six students each year. Wow, I thought to myself, he is on the verge of being the adult I had imagined he would become back when he was at Hillbrook. Older, more mature, more assured, and ready to fully pursue his passion in drama and theater, and yet his passionate and charmingly unique Middle School self still shone through.

As you read this, we are less than three weeks away from summer break, another reason I suspect I’m feeling nostalgic. Next week, all Middle School students will be off-campus on expeditionary learning trips to Yosemite, Catalina Island, and Washington, D.C. Here on campus, we are gearing up for several year-end experiences, including the 3rd Grade Greek Play, the 5th grade Living History Night, the 1st/2nd grade Author’s Walkabout, and the 8th grade Capstone projects. All of this activity creates a powerful mix of excitement and accomplishment, as well as a strong sense of endings.

And, yet, even as we focus on culminating experiences and projects, I’m struck that what we are really witnessing is a series of new beginnings. Our 1st and 2nd grade authors, for example, will be introducing themselves to us for one of the first times as writers, an identity that will continue to grow and broaden in the years ahead. 8th graders are exploring areas and passions in a new and more in-depth way, building electric bikes, coding virtual reality experiences, drawing message-driven cartoons, apprenticing as teachers for younger students, and learning and then teaching peers and adults how to bind books While their public presentations at NuMu on June 1 will be inspiring, what we are seeing is the emergence of young adults and lifelong learners who are just beginning to understand their full potential. These young people are not at an endpoint at all, they are at a series of extraordinary and exciting new beginnings.

This is also the time of year when we say goodbye to some teachers and staff members who will not be returning for the 2017-18 school year. Included in that group this year are several resident teachers – Yanelly de la Rosa, Rasha Glenn, and Helga McHugh, JK/K PE teacher Regina Reilly, Director of Admission Nikki Butts, Middle School English teacher and Humanities Lead Julia Rubin, longtime Substitute Coordinator Chris Lawrence, Facilities Manager Alan Bahnsen, and our longest serving employee – Physical Education Teacher and coach Sue Yoshioka. As they leave Hillbrook, I know that each of them will be having their own new beginning. In some cases, they leave us to launch into their first lead teacher role, while others are looking to move into the next chapter of their lives as they “rewire” and imagine what the years ahead hold in store for them. All of these talented individuals, whether they were here for 2 years, 39 years, or somewhere in between, have made a difference in the lives of our students and have made our community a better place. We will have an opportunity to recognize each of them at our Final Flag of the year on Monday, June 5.

At the same time as some people are leaving, we are preparing to welcome a new cohort of talented faculty and staff to our community.We will share news about our new community members in August. We are also thrilled to see the Scott Center for Social Entrepreneurship continue to grow and flourish with the addition of Annie Makela, the Founding Director for the Scott Center for Social Entrepreneurship, joining our community in July.

Ultimately, each goodbye represents an ending and a beginning, depending on the angle from which you view it. The departure of the dynamic and talented Class of 2017, for example, represents the end of an era for many students and families, and yet as they leave they prepare to begin anew at high schools around the Bay Area and beyond. Their departure also opens up space for an extraordinary group of new children and families, including our largest cohort of new 6th grade students ever. A whole new set of Hillbrook stories are soon to be written.

Circling back to where I started this essay, this past Monday one of our 8th graders talked about how this year’s graduation marks the end of an era for her family at Hillbrook. She and her two sisters have been a part of this community for the past 14 years, meaning she has been a part of Hillbrook since she was born. There are seven other families marking a similar transition this year, with the youngest member of the family graduating and thus marking the end of 10 or more years at the school for the family. In addition, there are a number of families with only one child who are also marking their own graduation from Hillbrook as their child leaves for high school.

It is definitely bittersweet to see these families move on from the school, and hard in the moment to imagine Hillbrook without them here. As I was reminded at the reunion last weekend, however, the end of this era represents the beginning of a new relationship, one that is marked by significantly less frequent interactions, but the same level of affection, appreciation, and wonder at the journey we all take through life.

Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” In the weeks ahead, I encourage all of us to celebrate and honor the closing doors of this chapter of the Hillbrook story, while looking with enthusiasm toward the new doors that are just beginning to open.

Apr 282017
 

As a school, we have a long commitment to creating and nurturing a culture of reflection. We seek input and feedback and strive to work in partnership with families to meet our mission each and every day. We have always recognized the importance of gathering feedback from our community and using that feedback to help us both appreciate and affirm our strengths and also identify areas for growth and improvement.

This past year, we partnered with an outside firm, Pacific Consulting Group (PCG), to create, administer, and analyze a family survey. We sent out the survey to the community in November and invited all current families (representing 255 households) to respond. A total of 175 households completed the survey, representing an impressive 69 percent response rate. PCG shared the results with the school and then created a presentation for us to deliver to our community. The PCG presentation was shared at the HSPC meeting in April.

The survey was separated into ten areas – Educational Skills, Lower School Educational Program, Middle School Educational Program, School Programs, Teachers, School Leadership, School Culture and Community, Communications and Parent/Guardian Involvement, Facilities and Transportation. Parents also rated their overall satisfaction with Hillbrook. The results were strongly affirming for the school, with high satisfaction ratings in every category, including an overall satisfaction rate of 91 percent. 97 percent of families would recommend Hillbrook to a friend or relative, an incredibly high percentage.

One of the appeals of hiring PCG to administer the survey was that they conducted a leverage analysis of the results. The leverage analysis identified the school’s strengths to focus communications and highlight those areas where we are doing well and that are important to families. The leverage analysis also identified areas where improvement will create the most impact. These are areas where people are relatively dissatisfied and/or the area is very important to people. As PCG noted, improvement in these areas creates the biggest “bang for the buck.”

The survey reaffirmed our strengths, encouraging the school and community to highlight these areas when discussing the school :

  • Strong leadership that includes school leaders who treat people with respect and who provide a clear and compelling vision for the school
  • Exceptional teachers who combine a deep knowledge of their subject with a deep understanding of each child and responsiveness to parental communication
  • An extraordinary campus, that includes excellent facilities

On the other side, the survey suggested three areas that we should focus our improvement efforts. First, family’s are very interested in seeing us do even more to meet each child’s individual learning needs. PCG included a few quotes to help show how families respond when we do this well, as well as what families suggest for improvement. As an example of what it looks like when done well, one family wrote, “We have been thrilled at how much Hillbrook has seen our kids as individual learners with a lot to say and offer the world. Our kids have gained confidence and are more engaged in learning than ever before.” On the other side, families suggested that we might find more effective ways to challenge students. As one family wrote, “I think Hillbrook has a good program but needs to get a little more educationally intensive. For students who are academically ahead it appears that they don’t feel as challenged.”

The second and third areas were closely related, with families offering suggestions about how we can better help each child reach their highest individual potential and communicate student progress in ways that makes sense to both students and parents. As an example of what it looks like when done well, one family wrote, “I am so happy that Hillbrook and their teachers are willing to differentiate learning for kids. Some are advanced and some are not and I feel like they do a good job of adjusting the curriculum based on the child.”

On the other side, one family encouraged us to reconsider our homework, writing, “I think overall homework can cater to each child more. I find that it could be more challenging. This doesn’t necessarily mean traditional homework, but more project-based, integrated learning that truly engages.” Another family suggested we reconsider parent/teacher conferences writing, “20 minutes feels quite rushed to cover a child’s academic progress, social & emotional status, and allow for questions. Our teachers know our children so well, they have such rich feedback to share with us, and I come away from conferences feeling like an incremental 10-25 minutes would be so very helpful.”

In addition to the leverage analysis, PCG included survey results that addressed some general areas. For example, the survey affirmed that both “The Week Ahead” and “Hillbrook Happenings” are used by the vast majority of families, with 88 percent using the former and 85 percent using the latter. When asked, “How would you rate Hillbrook’s level of initiative in identifying opportunities for parent/guardian involvement?” 90 percent of families said “about right,” a strong endorsement of the HSPC and the school and how we structure volunteer opportunities. Additionally, 80 percent of families felt that our level of initiative in soliciting financial support was “about right.” Eighty-seven percent of families are satisfied with our transportation programs, with 77 percent of families using our transportation services.

The survey also affirmed the school’s success in creating an inclusive community, with 98 percent of families saying that both their child and their family felt included at Hillbrook. When asked about our vision and mission, 80 percent of families felt like Hillbrook was successful in achieving it. As one family wrote, “Our kids love waking up to go to Hillbrook and are excited to share what they are learning, and are learning a great deal on all fronts. Their confidence, knowledge, and life trajectory is far beyond mine at the same ages and it’s very impressive. I believe Hillbrook’s mission contributes to these traits in our kids.” As another family wrote, “Every child deserves a school like Hillbrook and we have seen our child blossom and thrive and grow by leaps and bounds in so many areas—academically, in her confidence, in her ability to become more responsible and self reliant. Her overall happiness with school has grown tenfold, and that is priceless.”

Overall, we feel that the survey reaffirms the focus of Vision 2020, and it has us well-positioned to build on our strengths, while addressing key issues identified in the survey. In particular, we believe that the school’s focus on reimagining the student experience, with particular attention on how we use time, how we challenge each child, and how we strengthen our assessment system, will ensure we are able to make meaningful progress in our efforts to meet the needs of each child and help each child reach their highest individual potential.

This was the first time that we have conducted a survey with PCG, and we plan on bringing them back every two years to measure our progress and help us continue to identify our strengths and areas where we can improve. We are excited that this new process offers us a meaningful and effective way to gather feedback for the school, something that we know is essential to ensure we continue to grow and thrive as a school.

Mar 172017
 

gratitudeI had the opportunity to hear Brené Brown at the recent NAIS National Conference in Baltimore. Author of several books, including bestsellers Daring Greatly and Rising Strong, Brown has garnered a great deal of attention by speaking to the powerful role that shame and vulnerability play in our lives, and how we need to understand and lean into those feelings if we are ever going to be able to be courageous and do great things.

Brown is a gifted and humorous speaker, and she managed to be simultaneously disarming, funny, and thought-provoking, as she challenged each of us to think about how our fear of being vulnerable leads to misunderstanding. It takes courage to speak our truth, particularly to those closest to us, she noted. She told a story of a morning swim with her husband that quickly devolved into a fight when the two of them failed to understand what the other was thinking. She encouraged us to develop facility with the phrase, “The story I am telling in my head…,” as a way to open conversation with another person and help them understand what you are thinking and, in the process, often help to reveal the misunderstanding at the core of the conflict.

I quickly thought of the many misunderstandings I had with people, especially my own family members, as I leapt up the ladder of inference and became frustrated, judgmental, and angry instead of opening myself up to a real conversation and a search for understanding. I thought of a recent situation in which one of my children came to me to ask if we could get a subscription to Adobe Photoshop. I looked up from my computer, and immediately, angrily, and, let’s be clear, irrationally launched into a mini-tirade about how all my children ever do is ask for things and want more. I was tired of their sense of entitlement and their never-ending need for things. I then turned back to what I was doing, shutting the conversation down.

Later, with the benefit of time and perspective, I went back to said child and asked them to tell me more. It turns out, that this child had already figured out a way to pay for this service by canceling another service we had, and was not simply asking for something more. I sheepishly listened and we worked out an arrangement that, in the end, actually highlighted the importance of financial management and this child’s growing awareness that “money does not grow on trees.”

It was definitely a low point as a parent, and one that I’m not proud of in the least. I could make a number of excuses, but if I’m being brutally honest (ie, fully vulnerable) and if I play out “the story in my head”, the question triggered complex feelings from my own childhood about money, an underlying fear that careless expenditures of money would have long-term consequences, coupled with shame about any type of conspicuous consumption. The latter undoubtedly traces all the way back to a purchase in 7th grade of an expensive pair of Vuarnet sunglasses with money I had earned through yard work and babysitting, a purchase that my parents viewed with a combination of disgust and disappointment. In retrospect, I now recognize their feeling – it was discomfort with the privilege I had (the ability to purchase a pair of Vuarnet sunglasses) combined with a larger fear that I would not recognize my privilege and would simply become entitled.

Brené Brown beautifully addressed this concept when she talked about her own efforts to ensure her children were not entitled. She distinguished between privilege – unearned access to resources  – and entitlement – expectations of access to resources. The key to keeping the one – privilege – from becoming the other – entitlement? Understanding and gratitude.

As a parent, how do we do this? I think it is important to explicitly name the privileges your children have, as well as helping them see how privilege varies across different communities. It is important for children to recognize, for example, that within the Hillbrook community, different families have different types of privilege, whether due to differences in socioeconomic status, race, or ethnicity. At the same time, even with those differences, it is helpful for our children to recognize the privilege that all Hillbrook children have simply by being students at the school, namely, access to an educational experience that the vast majority of children throughout the Bay Area and around the world do not have.

And how do we teach gratitude? To my mind, the best way to teach that is by modeling it for your own children and by showing your own gratitude for the things and experiences you find valuable. I regularly tell my children about how grateful I am to be part of this community, how grateful I am to live in such an extraordinarily beautiful area, and how grateful I am to have the freedom and the opportunities that I have had throughout my life.

For additional exploration  you might check out the following: