By Mark Silver, Head of School
Good morning, and welcome to the 2019 Hillbrook school graduation ceremony. I want to extend a special welcome this morning to our guests on stage with me, including Los Gatos Town Council member Rob Rennie, Chair of the Board of Trustees Chuck Hammers, Head of Middle School Christina Pak, 8th Grade Level Coordinator Eden Maisel, and Gabriella Underwood, graduate from the Class of 2015. Most importantly, it is my honor to welcome the soon to be graduated members of the Class of 2019.
A couple of months ago, I came across an article in the local paper that caught my eye. Two university researchers had completed a study which helped answer one of the most common – and contentious – questions on every playground, playing field and basketball court around the world. “Whose ball is it?” Anyone who has ever played pick-up basketball or football or soccer knows that endless disputes arise over who touched what when. According to the article, the key discovery is that “we mentally register our own sensations before whatever else is around us.” In other words, we think that we have touched something first, even when we haven’t. For those curious about the actual study, the researchers conducted a series of “timing games” with college students, and discovered that both participants asserted they touched something first between 67 and 75 percent of the time. Clearly, that is impossible.
What this tells is that our perception of what happened is not as accurate as we think. We think we are right and yet, the reality is, we may not be. Why does this matter? Well, when I was thinking about the Class of 2019, many memories of the last ten years came to mind. After all, this is the first group of graduates that have been part of my experience since day one. This is a group that has an extraordinary array of talents – in the classroom, on the playing fields, in the art studios, on stage. It is a class that has achieved a lot, and it is a class that has always had more than its fair share of leaders. From a young age, this group has continually been known for big personalities. Put another way, since JK/K, there have been more than a few arguments about who was “right.”
Watching this group, particularly this past few years in Middle School, I have been struck by how they have grown in their ability to work together and to make space for each student to shine. A number of events this year, including last week’s Celebration of Learning, offered ample evidence of the extraordinary array of passions and talents they have – from aquaponics to impact investing, from herpetology to fashion, from climate science to high-speed rail, from basketball to Broadway. There is no doubt that this is a group poised to go out and make a difference in the world.
And, so, as these students move forward and prepare to take on the world, it only seemed fitting that I would take this last opportunity to share a few thoughts about “being right.”
Psychological studies have consistently shown that we are less rational than we believe. Nobel prize winning economist and psychologist Daniel Kahneman, for example, showed the power of what’s called “anchoring” to influence people’s decisions. People asked the question, “Was Gandhi more than 114 years old when he died?” provided a much higher estimate of his age at death than those asked “Was Gandhi more than 35 years old when he died?” The answer, for those who are curious, is 78. As another example, world champion poker player Annie Duke talks about “resulting,” or the tendency for people to judge the quality of their decisions on the outcome. Think for a moment about a great decision you made recently. What made it great? It probably had a great result, but was it the skill of the decision making or was it luck? She notes that when asked to point to their best decisions, most people point to their best results, and their worst decisions to their worst results.
Perhaps the most well-known example of this was the reaction to Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll’s goal-line decision in Super Bowl XLIX. As I’m sure at least some of you remember, Coach Carroll made the unexpected decision to throw a pass on 2nd and goal from the 1 yard line with 26 seconds left in the game, instead of handing the ball to their outstanding and widely feared running back, Marshawn Lynch. The pass was intercepted and the Seahawks lost to the Patriots, bringing joy to the Patriots fans in this crowd and near instantaneous claims that Carroll’s decision was the worst call in history. Annie Duke makes a pretty compelling case – and I would tend to agree with her – that while the outcome of this call may have been one of the worst outcomes in football history, it is a major case of “resulting” to suggest that the call itself was terrible. If the player had caught the ball or it had been incomplete, the two most likely outcomes, no one would be second-guessing the call. And, as she points out, of the 66 other passes made from an opponent’s one yard line during the entire season, not a single one was intercepted.
So what’s the point of all of this? I think there are three lessons here that I would encourage our graduates to consider.
- Our perception of events is imperfect. Recognize that even if you think you are right, you may not be. “I’m not sure” and “I don’t know” can be fabulous invitations to seek help and learn more. I started the year by encouraging everyone to be more curious, than certain. Embrace the opportunity to keep looking for new information that challenges your own ideas and beliefs. After all, if we had been living before 1543, we would have been convinced that the earth was at the center of the universe. Never assume you know all the answers.
- When you are wrong, admit it. Almost exactly 9 years ago today, on June 2, 2010, Detroit Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga threw what should have been a perfect game, making him at that time only the 21st picture in Major League history to throw a perfect game. He had retired the first 26 batters, when Cleveland Indians batter Jason Donald came up and hit a grounder. First base umpire Jim Joyce called him safe. As he shared later, Joyce was positive he was right. No doubt. Watching the replay after the game, however, Joyce realized – as the rest of the sports world also had by that time – that he had missed the call. His reaction? He tearfully apologized to Galarraga and the world. That’s right, he admitted he was wrong and he apologized. How did Galarraga react? He came to the umpire’s locker room, hugged Joyce, and fully accepted his apology. “We are all human,” Galarraga said. It remains for me one of the best examples of how to graciously take ownership of a mistake and how to accept an apology when something happens to you that is unfair.
- Always try to do the right thing. While we may not always know the right answer and while we will certainly make our fair share of mistakes, we can, in the end, control how we conduct ourselves in the world. Be kind and be truthful. Be gracious in victory and defeat. Maintain your dignity amidst the highs and lows of life, knowing that you cannot necessarily control the results and you cannot control what other people say about you, but you can always control how you react. Strive to live so that you can look in the mirror at the end of every day and know that you did your best to do the right thing.
Class of 2019, it has been such a privilege to watch you grow up here at Hillbrook. As I look at you today, I know you are ready to go. At least a half dozen of you are taller than me, which is one indicator, and your convincing victories in the faculty/student basketball and softball games are another. More importantly, I know from my time with you that you have embraced our core values – be kind, be curious, take risks, be your best – and you have the skills, knowledge, and confidence you need to take on the world. We are so proud of all you have accomplished at Hillbrook, and we cannot wait to hear about the things you do as you go off and seek ways to reach beyond and make a difference in the world. And, remember, that whatever roads life takes you down, no matter how far you go, you can always come back to Hillbrook and know that you are returning home.