By Anne-Marie Strohman, Hillbrook writer, Middle School parent, and alumni parent
Social and Emotional Learning at Hillbrook starts the moment students set foot on campus. Every child is greeted as they get out of a car, climb off a bus, or ride by on a bike. Students are greeted again by their teachers as they enter their classrooms. During Morning Meeting and Advisory, students greet each other formally, making eye contact with each other and connecting. From the very start of each day, students are seen and valued, and they are taught to see and value each other.
As a parent, I thought of social and emotional learning taking place primarily during Morning Meeting in the Lower School and Advisory in the Middle School. But social and emotional learning takes place all through the day—during recess, group lessons, collaborative learning, and even individual work times. Kindergarten teacher Megan Collins says, “I am constantly looking at free play and structured classroom time as opportunities to help young children learn how to navigate their own feelings as well as grow in understanding their peers’ feelings.”
Two core beliefs undergird Hillbrook’s approach to social and emotional learning: children are human beings worthy of respect and dignity, and interacting with others and taking care of yourself are skills that can be taught.
For the past decade, every teacher and staff member at Hillbrook has been trained in either Responsive Classroom, a curriculum for Lower School, or Developmental Designs, for Middle School. This year, as teachers prepared for school to start, they spent additional time dedicated to social and emotional learning, including two days of specialized training. Teachers have already continued these conversations in regular teacher development, at grade-level meetings, in subject-level meetings, and informally.
For new 7th grade history teacher Chris Chiang, the most immediately valuable aspect was learning as a group of colleagues. “We had time to reflect and plan procedures that would best support kids,” he says. Faculty and staff develop consistent classroom procedures across campus so that as children move from class to class they can feel comfortable in each learning environment. According to Ilsa Dohmen, Director of Teaching and Learning, “When teachers use a common approach and draw from a set of shared strategies and language, students can become their best selves.”
Sara Lee, a 2nd grade teacher, describes social and emotional learning as a necessary part of education. “It is just as important as academic learning,” she says. She and her colleagues spend time at the beginning of the year establishing classroom communities so that each child feels valued. Teaching students procedures as big as how the school day will go and as small as clicking the caps closed on pens creates a sense of comfort and safety. “Once they feel safe—physically safe and emotionally safe,” Ms. Lee says, “they feel safe to make mistakes and to take chances in their learning.”
In addition to procedures, the Responsive Classroom curriculum focuses on behavior, the topic of the recent Lower School training. “Behavior is always a communication,” says Colleen Schilly, Associate Head of School, “a communication about what a child needs.” Sometimes a child has a basic need—they might be low on sleep, or they may have skipped breakfast. “Sometimes,” says Ms. Schilly, “the child is missing a skill that can be taught.”
Responsive Classroom centers on five core skills: Cooperation, Assertiveness, Responsibility, Empathy, and Self-Control. Children are learning to live in community with each other, and these are skills they will carry into their adult lives. Sometimes this kind of learning is tough. Children have to learn how to respond when they are the ones hurt and when they are the ones doing the hurting. Ms. Schilly reflects, “How we hold children in moments of conflict and struggle is actually where the most powerful social and emotional learning happens.”
Middle School teachers attended a Developmental Designs training on language. “We focused on how to use language in a way that is supportive and growth-oriented,” says Amy Hand, Middle School Head. “Having that grounding in language permeates all of the work we do with kids.”
“Words really, really matter to children,” says 6th grade Math teacher Jacki Jung, “especially when our words don’t line up with our reality. For example, if I say, ‘this is going to be fun,’ and the child doesn’t actually have fun, they start not trusting what I say. Instead, I’ll say, ‘I find this math activity fun, and I hope you do too.’” This strategy frees up students to find out if something is fun for them or not, and eliminates possible frustration with the teacher for misdescribing their experience. This kind of intentionality in very small moments translates to kids feeling valued.
This intentionality and care for children’s social and emotional well-being are evident in the way Hillbrook approaches kids’ mistakes–even big mistakes. For Amy Hand, the approach depends on valuing kids and responding to their individual needs. Change happens, she says, “when you have relationships with kids and when you have an orientation toward discipline that involves conversation and understanding.”
Our family chose Hillbrook because of the intentional care for the whole child–body, mind, and heart. Over and over again we have seen our children treated with respect, their independence and confidence grow, and the dignity of all children protected. They are treated as individuals who are valued for who they are, and in their struggles have been guided toward growth. I credit Hillbrook’s expert faculty and staff. Their modeling and advice have helped me to become a better parent. Hillbrook truly is a good place to grow.
7 ways parents can support social and emotional learning at home
Social and emotional learning is a community effort. Below, teachers and administrators recommend ways for parents to partner with Hillbrook and apply Responsive Classroom and Developmental Designs strategies at home.
- Consider how basic needs, like sleep and hunger, affect kids’ emotions. Let your child’s homeroom teacher or advisor know if something is going on at home that might affect your child at school.
- Check in with your child’s emotions–whether it’s a scale of 1-5, or a color code system, or names of emotions. With Lower School students especially, having them communicate something concrete can often lead to conversation, while questions like “What did you do today?” can be too open-ended.
- Help your child move toward self-regulation. If things get heated, take a break. And if your child asks for a break, let them have it. When emotions are high, it’s probably not the time for deep lessons.
- In Middle School, protocols are designed to lead students to greater independence and responsibility. At home, help them think through solutions to problems on their own, instead of offering a quick fix. If they forget their homework, let them work out with a teacher what happens next instead of rushing it to campus.
- Kids make mistakes. Even big mistakes are a normal part of being human. See mistakes as an opportunity to grow. Sometimes your child will be hurt, and sometimes your child will hurt another person. Have patience with the process of learning. Offer the same dignity to other students as you want for your own child.
- Developmental Designs identifies four needs of adolescents: fun, competence, autonomy, and relationship. Consider these needs at home as well. “Kids need spaces away from family and teachers where they can hit their stride and figure things out on their own,” says Middle School Humanities teacher Jenn Gingery.
- Catch your children doing good. ”What you pay attention to grows,” says Chris Chiang. “If the only thing you pay attention to is misbehavior, and you don’t pay attention to other things that your student is doing well, there is no incentive for them to do those things.”